I'm pretty sure we're all doing this to have fun, but if I'm wrong about that, it's way too late to stop us from posting this article. In light of IGN, Gamespot, et al sporting their professional picks for Game of the Show and all that jazz, we thought it only appropriate that we should develop our own breed of E3 awards write-up. As such, we approached the concept in the usual meticulously organized DigitalChumps way; meaning, we all just wrote a bunch of random stuff. The result is the following amalgam of retrospective tidbits. On behalf of all of us at DigitalChumps.com, please enjoy.
Please Note: The following article does not represent the collective opinion of DigitalChumps.com or its editors; it is merely a collection of random musings regarding the recent E3 2008 trade show. So don't yell at us or get all pissed off if something bugs you; we're only kidding around. Thanks!
Most Likely to Provoke a Tenth Playthrough and Probably a Series of Wet Dreams Award
Chrono Trigger DS
First of all, my apologies for the picture.
Regardless of the fact that I had anticipated its presence well in advance, when I saw Chrono Trigger for the Nintendo DS on the show floor, I still wanted to cry tears of temporally distorted joy. Everything from the visuals to the music remains unchanged, and the gameplay seems to have been smartly adapted to the dual-screen and touch interface features. I have beaten the game nine times to date and am wholly prepared to do so again for a tenth time on the DS, and then an eleventh on the next Nintendo handheld, twelfth on the Wii 2 Virtual Console, and thirteenth on the WiiThrii Wiimake Chrono Trigger Hyper Redux: Magus’ Revenge, which will feature a second secret dungeon and new unlockable hairstyles for each of the characters.
What Did I Just Step In? Award
Midway
Whom casually featured a pile of steaming dog feces right outside their door, which I stepped in. I'm pretty sure it wasn't intentional, but c'mon guys, I didn't even see any dogs in the building.
Accommodation Award
Capcom
In 24 hours we went from having no appointment to a full tour booking, giving us free reign over their entire lineup, which, by the way, was our collective favorite throughout the show. Mega Man 9, Flock, Resident Evil 5, Age of Booty, Bionic Commando, Street Fighter IV, Street Fighter II HD Remix - we probably could have spent the entire show in their booth.
Space Invaders/Flash Memory Epic Fail Award
Wii Storage Solution (or lack thereof)
Space Invaders on the Wii? If you’re at all serious about your gaming, probably. This year’s Most Puzzling Absence Award goes to Nintendo for neglecting to announce a storage solution for the Wii… while at the show anyway. Nearly everyone involved in the debate back in 2006 had expected SD cards to be a viable alternative to the console’s internal flash memory. Problem is, the card reader is so terribly slow in its current state that it’d probably be quicker to open the file in a hex editor and type the characters one by one into a nearby laptop. Plus, there’s no sanctioned method for developers to access the data on the cards. That having been said, days later, Nintendo’s Reggie has said now that a storage solution is indeed an immediate concern… so hopefully we’ll see something soon enough.
Treating us like we're IGN or 1UP even though we're basically unheard of Award
Sony Computer Entertainment America. (Jill Webber, specifically)
Usually we would enter a room with some sort of PR guide to usher us in between games, but would wind up stranded mid way through. Jill stayed with us the whole time and saw that Steve or I got our hands on nearly everything we requested, thank you!
Most Agonizingly Long (But Still Good) Press Conference Award
Sony
Sony kept talking about ten year console lifespans so repeatedly throughout their press conference that we began to wonder whether or not the conference itself was scheduled to last that long. However, the food was good enough beforehand to make up for it—bacon-wrapped sausages and endless pastries for the arterially catastrophic win.
Awesome Acquisition Award
Sega
For scooping up Platinum Games and signing them to a four game deal. Platinum who? Perhaps you’ve heard of Clover, Capcom’s defunct miracle studio responsible for the last generation classics, Viewtiful Joe, God Hand, and Okami? Platinum is comprised of key members of Clover’s staff, and Sega was sure to seize their talent asap. No one really knew too much about Bayonetta or Mad World before the show, but each title wound up oozing a ridiculous amount of style from every angle. Both titles are still a ways off, but we’ll be keeping a very close eye on their progress – Clover was never one to disappoint.
Best Promotional Display Award
Warner Bros
For larger than life Lego models of Batman and Robin.
Most Ridiculously Obvious Sexual-Water-Cooler-Joke-Turned-Actual-Game-Title Award
Age of Booty
Even the developers on hand casually confirmed to us their painfully obvious (yet promotionally brilliant) ulterior motives in renaming the title.
This Feels Exactly the Same as Last Time but I don't Care Award
Resident Evil 5
Resident Evil 4 was only one of the most captivating games I've ever played - I'll gladly take a new aesthetic on top of recycled controls and mechanics - with co-op to boot.
I Want to Believe Award
Flower
Usually game demos are laced with PR delusions of grandeur about how a game is going to change the industry or transcend the medium. Flower was full of that, for sure, but the difference was I actually bought every single word Jenova Chen was saying. Talk of satisfying the dreams of a flower, interactive poetry, abstract symbolism - sign me up. Now. Flower was the warmest, most welcoming surprise of E3. I dug every angle of the atmosphere; from the serene setting, to the relaxing music, right down the fulfillment of beating the level. The simplicity of the gameplay may complicate an idiot's ability to enjoy it, but that shouldn't hurt the potential artistic value.
I Believe Award
PixelJunk Eden
The aesthetic was mesmerizing - from the moment I saw the demo reel from GDC I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. The actual experience was gratifying, it felt and, most importantly, worked exactly like I thought it would. Once learned the gameplay is rock-solid and ever so rewarding through its wildly imaginative presentation. I love games that strive to engage the player through reflexive marriage of audio visual components, and Eden looks to knock it out of the park in that field. Top it off with remote-play, youtube functionality, three player co-op, full trophy support, leaderboards, and a likely $10 price? Believe!
I Already Believed, but now I believe Twice as Much Award
Little Big Planet
In a way I was almost fatigued from all the coverage it’s received over the last two years. That all changed when nearly everything I saw and/or played at E3 was comprised of entirely new material. Ghost enemies, a sound editor, the low rider level, indestructible co-op, a freaking boss, the coolest press conference I’ve ever seen? Awesome work by the guys at Media Molecule, LBP is a media darling, for sure, but it deserves every single bit of praise garnished upon it’s bulletproof acclaim.
Rube Goldberg Award for Potential Creativity that is as Limitless as it is Pointless
Flock
The demo contained a sample from the level editor where the team had designed an intricate, drawn out mechanism for the relatively simple task of moving a sheep about two feet to the left. It was like playing Mousetrap when you were a kid, only it actually worked.
PLEASE GOD NOT AGAIN Award
Sonic Unleashed
I’ve mentioned this countless times, but you’d be hard pressed to find a more persistent Sonic fan than myself. I’ve suffered through complete runs of Heroes, Shadow, and Sonic 2006 – each leaving me with a distinct feeling of inestimable wasted opportunity. At first, Unleashed looked to shed this stigma with genuinely awesome mechanics relating to the hyper fast day time levels. Later, however, they jabbed a knife in by showcasing the horribly unimpressive night-time WereSonic levels then twisted the blade by saying it was a 50/50 split between day and night gameplay. My poor heart can’t take this, Sega, when will you finally give us a pure Sonic game?
Most Likely Individual to Serendipitously Be Piloting Your Flight Home Award
Mr. Bicep
Seriously, we wouldn’t have even been surprised.
32X Award For Attempting to Split Your User Base
Nintendo with Wii Motion Plus
I thought this should have been saved for Wii 2 (or whatever), but Nintendo, anticipating motion controllers from both Sony and Microsoft, whipped this thing out of nowhere a day early. Is it awesome? Sure. Is it going to narrowly divide the line between the have and the have-nots? Absolutely. Packing it in with Resort is nice, but what if you want to play a friend in your new game? Oops, better go get another WMP! That’s not even considering the millions of casual denizens who will buy WMP-only titles, only to be disappointed/confused by their inability to play it. Let’s hope Nintendo proves us all wrong, again.
Out of Nowhere Awesome Award
(pic found on NeoGAF forums)
Fat Princess
The rep guiding our demo was telling us how Darkstar made a last minute decision to even show Fat Princess at E3. I can barely comprehend how that was even up for debate, as this game looked like seven shades of win even though it was still six months away from release. They’ve nailed the formula for combining genuine comedy with inspired gameplay; I can’t wait to make all my friends buy it when it comes out next year.
This Game’s Hardness Would Make Hard Man Proud Award As Hard as I Am Award
Battletoads Award for Completely Unnecessary Yet Enjoyable Roughness
Mega Man 9
It’s standard operating procedure to look like a complete fool on the E3 show floor. Whether this is done by playing Killzone 2 for the first time or engaging in a four person what-the-hell fest with the latest Raving Rabbids game usually checks that box. But there was also Mega Man 9 – a game so refreshingly punishing that I must have died twenty times before I beat a level. Really, despite playing I-VI every day in my childhood, you could have sworn that I never picked a Mega Man title up in my life. Did I throw the Wii mote or insult Capcom PR? Hell no, I loved every second of it. Capcom isn’t lemon scenting anything – they’re bringing it completely old school, right down to the near-impossible memorization routines and super cheap baddie placement. I love it.
AC-10 Award
Wii Music
True to form, Nintendo appears to be lining their deep pockets with more casual gold. Who cares if it’s not really a game? The Wii elite are still going to be buying it in droves this holiday season. And you know what? They’ll love every minute they play it – regardless of its objective existence as a real game. Let Nintendo continue to eat unicorn steak while you consider that paradox.
Best RTS Since Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 Award
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3
I don’t care what you say; Red Alert 2 kicks all varieties of allegorical ass. Say what you will about the staling of resource-gathering RTS gameplay, the small-scale maps, what have you—I still love it. It’s widely agreed upon that RA2 is the best of the C&C series… so, then, it’s probably a good thing that Red Alert 3 feels like Red Alert 2—the pacing, attitude, humor, music (well, some of it anyway), balancing, everything. It’s as if EA went back to the drawing board—nay, the message boards—and said, “hey, let’s listen to our fans this time!” The budget is bigger, the staff is better, and the vision is apparently spot-on. I have been neglecting my wife in favor of spending time with the beta, so thanks, EA!
You’re Doing it Wrong Award
Castlevania: Judgment
While myself and plenty of others would be perfectly fine with the Castlevania series staying 2D for the rest of human existence, another stab at a 3D title wouldn’t be shunned right out of the gate. Unless, say, it was a fighting game. For the Wii. I mean, it played alright, but really, what are they thinking!?
Press Conference Punk’d Award
Nintendo
As has become tradition, Nintendo rented out the Hollywood & Highland Kodak Theatre, complete with all its grandeur, for their press conference this year. And, following along the usual routine, megatons are perennially dropped in this building. This year, however, the event was as far from a megaton as conceptually possible. Regardless, just when we thought that was it, Nintendo turns around at their annual roundtable discussion and drops casual confirmations of a number of blockbuster sequels, with an “Oh yeah, and we’re also making Super Mario Galaxy 2, New Super Mario Bros. 2, and Pikmin 3, too. Don’t know if you’ve heard of any of them.” And then, later on, we get recognition of the need for a Wii storage solution to boot. In other words, everything that anyone had expected to see at the press conference, minus Kid Icarus. Sure, I can understand the motive behind keeping this stuff under wraps until it’s closer to release. But come on—this is what all us Nintendo fans had been waiting for!
Ico Award for Casually Ripping Off Ico
Prince of Persia
Don’t misinterpret this award. I think the new Prince game looks fantastic all around. The semi open world and diverse amount of gameplay ( I love how portions of the world change in both appearance and mechanics once they’re restored) look incredibly solid and fun to play, but one can’t help but notice the glaring similarityes to the PS2 classic. Escorting a thin female companion whilst trying to evade pools of black corruption is bound to do that, but at least Elika is capable of kicking far more ass than Yorda (or Ico) could possibly imagine. Her functionailty is different for sure, but it doesn’t look that way.
Game of the Show, According to Eric Anyway Award
Mirror’s Edge
Sorry to get all serious on ya, but this one really, in every honest sense of the metaphor, blew me away. Eden, Flower, LBP, RE:5, Far Cry 2, Prince of Persia, Left 4 Dead, Killzone 2, Fallout 3 – all have every indication of being a five star title, but none affected my idea of what a game could be like Mirror’s Edge. It’s Unreal 3 without looking Unreal 3, it’s a first person game without a reliance on weapons, it’s complex but really only uses two buttons, it’s disorienting yet harmoniously in sync, it’s falling without failing. Momentum is essential the gameplay, however, Mirror’s Edge has plenty of that anyway you look at it. This game is going to be genre redefining burst of creative energy, let’s just hope it stays on course for this year.
You
In celebration of our newfound editorial freedom, the DigitalChumps Staff would like to thank you for allowing us to Rickroll you. At our former outfit, we'd have never been able to post such vapid editorial content under the guise of an awards ceremony. So again, we hope you've had a wonderful time--we'll be back this time next year with our 2009 awards.
Anyway, that about does it for the 2008 DigitalChumps E3 Awards. We certainly hope you've enjoyed our indiscriminate chaffing of the show. No matter how much we like to joke about a lot of this stuff, E3 is still one of our favorite trips each year (we may be a new site, but we've all been working together in this industry for years). If you'd like to drop us a line, we'd love to hear from you (click on the Author's Name at the top of the article). Oh, and don't worry about the effects of the Rickroll. It has been known to wear off after typically just a couple of hours.
